This morning I resolved that I must have strong goals or determination for goals. During Gongyo I will write them down.Record: Second American Revolution
Volume #1.
-April 13, 1971
By James C. Stephens
“A great revolution of character in just a single man will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation and further, will enable a change in the destiny of all mankind.”
October 12, 1965
Tuesday, April 13, 1971
Tonight, I thought I would start my record of Kosenrufu and my individual human revolution.
Today and everyday I will be truthful to reveal what I go through by practicing Nichiren Daishonin’s life philosophy.
I’ve felt very mixed up the last few days. I think it is because I was on vacation for 5 days and got out of rhythm. But my mind doesn’t take that for an answer, it’s just mixed up. I didn’t do anything really worthwhile today. Sometimes I just get all tied up inside. One thing that really bothers me and that’s: I’m almost 20 years old and I still don’t know where I am going. I have been very insolent lately. I’m not getting along with my parents at all. Last night I just got mad at my brother at the dinner table. My problem is that I don’t always care, while at other times I do care. Maybe, or really I need to be in Itai Doshin.
I feel I have lost my individuality, but it’s not the philosophy, it’s me. I want to change, but I want to enjoy my human revolution.
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Wednesday, April 14, 1971
Another day, another journey.
Today I have been totally spaced out. It has been a beautiful rainy day. Really fresh, it’s a good day to think. Lately I have wanted to be alone, but I still have enjoyed being around people. I blew it with my Dad again this morning. I’ve got to chant to overcome my bad nature.
I talked to Dr. Shofner for awhile today, attended both of his classes successively. He seem very interested in True Buddhism. I think he’s going to subscribe to World Tribune Friday…I heard today that a Roman Catholic official got excommunicated after being married seven years. What a primitive religion.
…I hope that I can speak or write the way I am and not speak false feelings.
‘Some speak True teachings, but cherish transient teachings in their heart.’
I want this pen to be an extension of my life, maybe one day I will uncover my happiest life condition……
Tonight we had a guidance meeting at the Joint Headquarters with Mr. Kikamura. It’s really strange because I was really hoping to get guidance on my problems, and sure enough it happened. The meeting really struck home. I just must chant better diamoku.
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Thursday, April 15, 1971
About 3:30 this morning we had a 3.5 earthquake. Really strange…I got back my gov’t test-got a D, as in Despicable, and then had a talk with Professor Machado. I shakubukued him. Now I must really shakubuku him through better grades and class participation…I studied for my Man’s religions exam but fell asleep, in the library. That seems to be a real problem with me, I use it as an escape…Today I have a new determination to advance on my clarinet and in my studies day by day. But we’ll just have to see how long that lasts.
We had a very good Brass Band practice tonight. I helped another member with his music and it really felt good. After Band, Honbucho, Mr. Kikamura spoke to us about Sundays activities at Myohoji. He quoted President Ikeda, saying that we should all develop our talent.” Because we can do something no one else can do for Kosen rufu. However he said that we should never think that Nichiren Shoshu needs us, but we really need Gohonzon for our individual happiness. He says Sogohonbucho is working very hard and maybe we could help him a little more by chanting some diamoku for our unity and his success in his travels…I really chanted tonight to feel unity maybe it will come with hard work.
Ask Gohonzon in Evening Gongyo to be in high spirits the next day and have a constructive meaningful day.
Plan your activities a day in advance during evening Gongyo is a good time. And then rethink it during morning Gongyo.
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Friday, April 16, 1971
Well, today was a far out experience. I took my Man’s Religions exam on Hinduism and Buddhism. I think I faired quite well. My English class brought out my lazy nature again. Mrs. Foster talked to me about trying and said she couldn’t help me if I just didn’t try. I’m ashamed, but then I’m not, because finally I can challenge this problem and overcome it….Oh, got a benefit tonight. I got turned onto a new butsudon in exchange for my old one; truly a benefit. I practiced my instrument again today. I hope I can keep this up and extend it to my studies. I’m afraid if I don’t then I will definitely get behind in the busy month ahead. Sunday Myohoji sports festival, parade and picnic are coming. It’s really great to spend a day with Sogohonbucho.
…Today after school I talked with Dr. Shofner and we had a good conversation, he listened very intently to the little I could relate on Nichiren’s Buddhism. He got World Tribune for May…Lately, I have really been experiencing what the importance of one’s Ichinen actually is. When it slips (your life force), it really effects your environment; like people you talk to.
…I feel like my practice is getting together again, but usually it blows up again when I say or feel that. I am trying to have faith like water, and not fire. I usually burn out too fast. Hopefully, I can change that.
“High spirits tomorrow and very constructive.”
One of my members is not practicing everyday; he’s pushing, so I am really learning more about human nature. I just am not chanting enough Diamoku for my members. I just must make more causes by doing Gongyo with him more often…
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Saturday April 16, 1971
Today I got up at about 8:00 and cleaned my room. Sal came over and we chanted an hour of good diamoku and did Gongyo. Afterwards we drove down to Fullerton and got a girl’s World Tribune. It was really a good experience Shakubukuing an older lady and a young girl. They were Sal’s old acquaintances and it was a good Shakubuku. They fed us lunch and we had a good personable talk, no real hang-ups. It feels real good.
Then we went to the Honbu and fortunately the Fuji shobo was open and I got my Seattle T-shirt for Band Tommorrow….I had an unbelievably full schedule for me, but the Gohonzon helped me achieve my goal; for your daily schedule has got to be a goal. I got one World Tribune today which brings my total to four. It broke my record of last month, so I’m happy for that. And it just seemed my schedule answered itself. I was going to pick up my new butsudon, but Russ left it here, I was supposed to call up Jay Stone, but Jay called me; I zipped in cleaning the house and it was just a good day.
Evening we had a good Zadankai meeting. We had an elderly man and many younger guests. I helped the older man and it made me feel good inside. But not just good, but it put me through human revolution.
One other thing I must note; My Dad, while buying some hay, ran across a man he hadn’t seen in ten years. The benefit is this man offered my Dad or asked him to interview for a job managing a Rental (U-Rent type of set-up) Shop for $15,000-20,000 + commission a year. It sounds good, but I don’t get my hopes too high. I just have got to get him to chant so it goes through; I will chant, too of course.
Oh, I practiced my instrument again day by day. Now I must extend that to my studies.
Tomorrow-Myohoji—can’t wait.
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Sunday, April 18, 1971
Myohoji Family Day
In 1967, April 18 President Ikeda founded Myohoji temple with Nittatsu “Geka” Shonin and Sogohonbucho. Today was equally a beautiful and significant day in the history of our United States.
Senator Alan Cranston of California sent Sogohonbucho a letter of congratulations with a flag that flew over the nation’s capitol. Today that flag flies over Myohoji Temple.
What happened today is not possible for me to express in words. It was just happiness. Pure happiness and Unity.
I thank Gohonzon for letting us spend a day with our Sogohonbucho.
Events: Volleyball tournament, Parade, Flag raising ceremony, Young people’s egg hunt, Min-on show, eats and final volleyball, and tug-of-war.
Nancy and I visited Tony, but I just am not impressed with his lack of life.
Thanks, Pres. Ikeda.
Must sleep-
Goodnight.
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Tuesday, April 20, 1971
At our home tonight we had a terrible argument. My parents have absolutely no trust in each other. My Dad looks at sex as an ultimate goal in life. Unfortunately, he doesn’t realize that trust is very important in a life to life relationship in any aspect. I wasn’t going to write tonight but I am glad I did…My Dad really hit me tonight. Wow. I got so mad I took a dish and literally busted it into a thousand pieces. It was a mess, but it felt good. Sometimes, I just must release my frustrations. My parents ask for some solution, but really are not willing to try or seek such a solution. Talk, but no implementation. San Francisco was cancelled…12:45 AM.
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Wednesday, April 21, 1971
Today was really windy and brisk and my classes ran smoothly. I got a lot of them. I also did some shakubuku which really helped..The monthly leaders meeting was tonight and it was very amazing. We performed a farewell min-on show for Sogohonbucho and he even played a tune on his saxophone. May 8 we are having our next leaders at the Hollywood Bowl and May 12 (my birthday) we’re having a fantastic min-on. Well I must rest because I really need it. Goodnite. Still not studying hard enough.
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Friday, April 23. 1971
Today, Sogohonbucho leaves for Japan…Over the last few days my worst nature has been coming out. But I must face it, it is mine and no one else’s. Last night I attacked my parents and brother with the worst vulgarity and slander. I don’t blame them for not having the least confidence in me. Everything they accused me of was 100% correct. They really did a great benefit to me by reflecting my true condition. They said that I was becoming closed-minded, sliding my old friends, my family; not contributing anything to the family. On top of it all, I was not taking an interest in anything outside of Buddhism. I know nothing’s outside Buddhism, but still they’re right. I haven’t even followed my teacher’s guidance. They say I am not a good son, but continually try to convert them to Buddhism. Maybe it’s about time I waked up to the realization that Buddhism is equal to life and that activities should not be used as an excuse for sliding family, friends, and studies…My practice has been sliding downhill also, so I have decided to make the following determination.
--3 hours good, sincere Diamoku a day until Sho-Hondo-
That must mean even if I’m ready to drop dead_3 hrs. diamoku.
My second determination must be straight B’s on my report card this semester.
My third determination is to recultivate old friends and doing only Geshu on them.
My fourth determination is to become a Better Son and Brother in the family and hold up part of the Burden that comes with sharing a position in the family.
In general I must have the determination to develop a determination to fulfill my goals as a human being.
…I am almost 20 years old and it is about time I searched for my mission and developed.
I just realized the significance of having our General Meeting at the Hollywood Bowl on the 8th of May. Because if we fill it, the 8th that will determine the spirit on the 12th. Our goal on the 8th must be also 17,000.
Saturday, April 24, 1971
Up at 4:30 drove my Dad to work, came home had a cup of coffee and did a good gongyo. Worked on my butsudon, drove my mom to work, came home worked on my butsudon and then I went to Jason’s (my younger member) to get his butsudon started.
…One Christian Dude asked a lot of questions and after the meeting I talked to him. At first he just threw me all the same negative questions and finally I just looked at him and told him to try it. Strangely they can’t look you in the eye…That night Nancy Schumow took me down and I talked to Shibucho. He just told me that studies were important and my problem was in essence, applying myself.
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Monday, April 26, 1971
Slowly, I am discovering that the feeling (egotistic) of being some special is now being brought out and crushed out of me by Brass Band. At Practice tonight I thought, “Wow” all these people are getting good on their clarinets, but I’m not advancing.
Brass Band is definitely a valuable experience in cutting your charme.
I also felt the principal of kenzoku today with my Sepulveda District members. Everybody is freaking out, sickness and head numbers. It’s a good feeling knowing you’re not alone.
Today I talked with my History Professor Patterson about Jefferson. He suggested that the reason Jefferson was such a brilliant man was that he strictly adhered to his schedule and rose early and studied late. He had very strict self discipline. Such Neo-classicists became great leaders because of such devotion.
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Tuesday, April 27, 1971
I still am having a devil of a time getting up in the morning.
I decided that every day I must read the Times and some magazine at school because I am really getting behind in current affairs.
Tonight I finally did some reading and remarkably I enjoyed it very much. I read Conrad’s Youth and also Poe’s Fall of the House of Usher. I regret that I had not read more in my past. I must read more in the future.
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Wednesday, April 28, 1971
April 28, 1253—Nichiren Daishonin first chanted Nam-myoho-renge-kyo on the planet.
After the meeting I went over to Lance’s and did Gongyo. First Lance, Jason, his mom and I sat down and chanted fifteen minutes and then did Gongyo. After Gongyo I talked to Lance and Jason and then his mom started arguing with Lance. Then they gave me a ride home and I mildly scolded both of them, told them they had the Gohonzon; and related my family revolution to them. They agreed that ‘beating” each other in essence never got anything accomplished just frustration.
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Thursday, April 29, 1971
After my political science class, I sat in the cafeteria and studied there till 1:30. After that I talked to a friend and this girl for sometime. We had a rally good rap and I ended up walking this girl to the administration and talking to her about Buddhism…I promoted Min-on tickets to a Japanese class, but met with no success except seeing where they were at and where I was at…Then when I was walking down the hall I saw Jack Sterk (a good friend my old debate coach) teaching a speech class, so he motioned me to come on in…I really think he’s a fantastic person.
Jack and I share common goals. We talked of value creation education and he talked of his views on education. He hit it right on the nail. Education is in a sad dehumanized state. I told him that one day he’ll probably teach at Soka University or High School in the United States. I really feel he will one day chant. It just looks like he is now under Gohonzon’s pull. He is sick of school, can’t find a job, and in general is very frustrated with the state of things…
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Friday, April 30, 1971
Slept in today until 9:30, felt really fine (just now my brother was talking in his sleep—what a crack up). “I want another one.” Then I said, you’re awake aren’t you? And he said, “Ya, but I want another one.” What? He said nothing and went back to sleep.
Class today was interesting. In religious studies I got into a discussion about the pure lineage of a philosophy. I questioned the pureness of the Christian lineage, but he said the same thing happened in Mahayana. But I refuted that by talking of Nichiren Shoshu. I still was not clear enough. Christianity, I have found is really shot full of holes.
In my English class my teacher rapped about the planned May Day demonstration. She said we should make decisions about our feelings on the demonstration before it happens and not be led like sheep.
Tonight I freaked out about everything. Then I went out and did Shakubuku after the meeting and I think I changed a little. Russ said that spirit is not just there but is developed. Min-on is for us. Once we have a campaign we must attack it immediately or sansho-shima will attack through our procrastination. He said at the end of your first year, you start to see and really change. He always scolds me, he says he can’t trust me, but he said he trusts me and that feels good. It means a lot to me.
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Saturday, May 1, 1971
We finally got our hot water heater fixed so I dug a hot shower. At the meeting we chanted really good diamoku and did a vigorous Gongyo. After Gongyo I split and promoted to my family, my aunt. Unfortunately my aunt wasn’t home, but my cousin Kim and her husband Ed want to come. My aunt was at her first meeting (told by Steve Oplatka, my assistant section leader).
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Monday, May 3, 1971
Bo Marie really made me realize fortune. She hurt her eye badly, but the dude she was in the accident with was killed.
During my history class, demonstrators caused some disruption. However, these pseudo revolutionaries at least are off their rears and doing something. I don’t necessarily think it has much value, but it may be a benefit for us, in fact it is a benefit for us. It will show them the futility of a social revolution without changing the most basic unit, the human being…
I found that my perfect job had turned up. It starts this summer for $2.50 tax free, outdoors, time off for the Seattle Convention, hard muscle making work.
Daimoku toso, then promotion of Min-on tickets for Hollywood Bowl. Through unity Nancy, Rich, and I were really able to get Schaeffers to go to the Min-on. Another Jewish couple was sharing coffee with them and he talked about Nichiren Shoshu in a slandering manner. However, Nancy and I corrected such baseless slander and Schaffers decided to definitely buy tickets to the Min-on…
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Wednesday, May 5, 1971
Today was the 1st anniversary of the Kent State killings and the strike had no momentum or support. Approximately 200 students marched on the bank, afterwards Devonshire riot division chased the demonstrators clean back onto campus. It was really a stupid and very antagonistic move by the police. Approximately 80 students were arrested during the demonstration. Number one, the cops had no right invading the campus like animals. Of course the students did antagonize the police, but I felt they had it coming. They beat one student in the groin about four times while four other cops held him down. They were like animals. I really felt the anxiety of the students. The cops made me equally mad. Russ and I ventured to see the cops confront the demonstrators on Darby Street and then they chased us across the parking lot. For some reason members are very interested in watching these student movements.
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Friday, May 7, 1971
Attended school today, but I am finding the study of Christianity unimpressive and further proving my faith in Gohonzon.
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Saturday, May 8, 1971
Got up late, but managed to make to Hollywood Bowl at 12:00 or so. I practiced alone and with the Band until the performance at 7:00. During the practice for this General Meeting, I have developed many good friends, and it has also developed my human revolution a step further. The Meeting tonight was super fantastic. My mother and brother attended. I am happy that they came. I am also very have Sogohonbucho back from Japan. Our performance was not very fantastic technically, but Sogohonbucho was proud of us. He made us feel better when he played a song for “my Brass Band.” He showed us a film of his trip to Japan to see Pres. Ikeda. He showed their tennis match and pictures inside Sho-Hondo. He related Pres. Ikeda’s Guidance, “Action is Shakubuku” and reference to hardships in youth are necessary…He also told us of the 2 new temples being built in the US.S., one in San Francisco and the other in Chicago.
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Sunday, May 9, 1971
I had a real bad dream last night about my Gohonzon. It was stolen, but then I discovered it destroyed. It was one hell of a nightmare. Boy I was really in hysterics.
I’ve been having a lot of strange dreams lately.
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Monday, May 10, 1971
Nancy Schumow and I went out and promoted together. We saw Norm and Marianne, Dean and Winnie, and then Gail Rivera. I put up her Butsudon and then Nancy enshrined her Gohonzon. Nancy is really a close Buddhist friend. She told me tonight that she’s getting married. Se really give me great encouragement and a trusting friendship. She confides in me real trust and I just can’t express the friendship.
Well, tomorrow is the last day to sell Min-on tickets so I am chanting all night to help us fill up the Hollywood Bowl. Shibucho really encouraged us tonight to help Sogohonbucho.
Hollywood Bowl—AAO!
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Tuesday, May 11, 1971
I chanted from 2 until 6 and then did Gongyo. I slept for about an hour and then attended my only class that I have on Tuesdays. After class I hitchhiked up to Russ’s and proceeded to get picked up by a recent Shakubuku of mine. After that I shakubukued some Christian person and he really seemed to be searching and noticed something in me through Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism. So I headed to Russ’s and we chanted two more hours of vigorous diamoku. After 6 hours of diamoku all I could think of was Min-on promotion.
So Russ and I advanced to several locations and my first stop was James Monroe H.S. So I saw Nancy Whitman while I was Shakubuking my old acquaintances while I was Treasurer, Mrs. Sutherland. Then I went to the Counselor’s Office and talked to the Head Counselor Scott and we readily got involved in a fantastic conversation. As I was telling him of my new found practice, another counselor came in and we all talked together. Then Nancy came in a supported me greatly. Afterwards I Shakubukued an old history teacher of mine, Mr. Kleinberg. He used to be quite straight with short hair, but now has hair to his shoulders and is greatly involved in counseling. Later, I shakubuked Mr. Miller, the principal of James Monroe High School and throughout all my shakubuku’s the Gohonzon really came through while on campus, I really saw the lack of humanism just by the look of the campus. It was completely run down like the students and the curriculum. They meaning the administrators still were talking about the same programs they talked about 4 years ago. No progress, stagnation. I really can feel why students can not get involved in school., it just further confirmed my growing determination for Kosen-rufu of the world (I’m writing this on May 13—But Sogohonbucho said that the United States is the world, just look at the different races. If you take the body that is the world, pull one hair and it hurts the whole body).
Nancy (Whitman) and I once again went out and promoted like crazy. Sancho Shima was very heavy selling tickets. But Nancy and I persisted for about twenty minutes and diamoku coming through sold two tickets to one of my member’s mother and sisters.
We then sold another ticket and promoted until the last minute. Then everyone turned the tickets in at the Shibu about 11:00 and we chanted and did Gongyo.
Nancy and I drove home together and something happened that I and Nancy had tacitly expected for sometime. We kissed and then knew we had blown it, but yet we didn’t think so. So we had a short talk and knew we had to talk to our Senior leaders. So I went in and crashed. I am now 20.
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Wednesday, May 12, 1971
I thought much about last nights experience during Gongyo. Shortly after Gongyo I went to school and played a good game of volleyball. However still I was freaking out about last night. So I put off calling Shibucho, but then I went to the phone and hesitatingly dropped a dime in and dialed the number. It must have been my Christian karma but I had a feeling of not guilt, but something near it and felt I was going to be yelled at. I stammered out the fact that I had kissed Nancy and he said, “Well, you can’t get her pregnant just by kissing her.” He suggested I cool it.
So I went to class and felt completely refreshed after calling Shibucho. It was like no it was a whole new feeling, a new world.
We got ready to go to the Min-on—my parents had freaked out during last minute sancho shima, but they made it to the Min-on. The Min-on was really human revolution. All my guests really enjoyed it for the most part. But, I didn’t really feel the groups too greatly, since they lacked that kyochi myogo.
I saw Nancy and she said there were more seats lower, but I stayed with my guests. We didn’t have a barrier between us, but rather a good feeling..
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Sunday, May 16, 1971
Last three days, I’ve been going through hell. I feel either I will titan or stand up.
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Monday, May 17, 1971
But luckily when you are in hell you can see why you are there and chant to overcome it. Like Nichiren Daishonin said that you pick yourself up off the same ground you trip on.
Yesterday, I got a benefit. My neighbor wants me to keep his pool up on my spare time for $20 a month. Today I got an even bigger benefit. My brother gave me his clarinet for my birthday. He is doing well in ski racing. Yesterday he took a first place at the San Gorgonio G.S. (giant slalom).
Tonight we had a study meeting and it turned out well and afterwards we had a Jr. Hancho meeting. Russ related guidance from Gary Curtis and Honbucho to us. Some points to remember:
It seems I am studying a bit more now because I have to, but I must make the determination to study day by day.
“Ariba u Adelante” to Seattle.
Up and Go to Seattle.
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Saturday, May 22, 1971
Pres. Ikeda said,
“Don’t worry people that look happy now, that don’t practice are on their way downhill; People that don’t appear happy in Nichiren Shoshu that practice are going uphill. One day all your causes will appear simultaneously in enlightenment.”
The last few days have been very strange. Tuesday while I was out promoting World Tribune my parents and brother had a big argument. It ended with my Mom and brother splitting.
Wednesday we did not hear from them and found that Ron had not gone to school. We were a bit worried and I stayed home from the meeting to do a little studying. I studied but also went out with my Dad to find out what was up. We discovered nothing. Thursday, my dad heard from my mom and arranged to talk with her Friday at four. During the evening Ken, Nancy, Jason, Rich, and I promoted World Tribune. I got on unexpectedly from Mike Rosenberg. It was the first time I had ever met him. After I came home I went over to Nancy’s and gave her my term paper to type.
Thursday night—my aunt got arrested for drunk driving, it seems everything has exploded.
Friday, I was again really wasted, went to school and completely blew my Man’s Religion Test. Later I turned in my History paper and shakubukued my History Professor.
After school I split home and awhile I was hitchhiking I reshakubuked an old titan member. He, I think was encouraged. As I was walking further my mom and brother picked me up. They seemed very tense, but Ron was excited about moving to Mammoth. They were very questioning and seemed perplexed by my calm attitude. So they came home and packed and we then all ate dinner together. I went to Nancy’s and she gave me a ride to the Toso. My brother split and I felt like crying, but did not. Nancy and I promoted but did not accomplish much. We then went o the Honbu and I chanted for awhile and talked to Shibucho for a few minutes. We then split for the Valley. We talked about many things including our relationship and she dropped me off. She forget to pick up her Human Revolution and so came into my room. Well the probable happened. We played with the clarinet and then kissed. Walked outside of the front door and we got involved. Afterwards, I think we realized something and really got something out of it. We knew we really dug what we did, but realized that unless we cut it we would end up like other members that have that type of relationship. Either one goes titan, or both, or their practice stagnates. So we agreed that we must help each other and develop our true relationship, we must completely cut our old relationship. We agreed that it would be hard not to do it, but if we help each other we could accomplish it…I guess one calls it, Standing Alone.
We both resolved that such an experience could be changed into elixir and could be for our growth.
After she left I chanted for a half hour to really change the relationship.
We agreed not to become guilt ridden or tense about our relation, but to develop an even more beautiful and constructive relationship.
...
(Saturday) The meeting with Soshibucho tonight was very spirited. I freaked out, but still gave an experience. It is hard sometimes, you know. My Dad showed up late and after the meeting I introduced him to Gary Curtis.
My Dad has really freaked out. I really see he needs the Gohonzon.
Well, Nancy brought me home and we talked and discussed our problems. It was revealing. I guess Gohonzon has really given me an opportunity to grow.
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Sunday, May 23, 1971
We had a vigorous band practice and have been preparing some really together band moves for Seattle…one thing I have realized is that a half hour nap in the afternoon really is helpful and revitalizing…Well today was the deadline for World Tribune and so Nancy, Ken, Chico, and I promoted together and we amazingly got four subscriptions together. Nancy and my relationship is changing, but she and I still blow it in being too stiff at times. I think that is a problem with our whole district at times, but I feel we are overcoming it.
My Dad and I talked when I got home and we discussed our plans.
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Monday, May 24, 1971
After the meeting Nancy Schumow gave me a ride to the Honbu. I know she is my sister for sure. She always encourages me a great deal, just by talking together…I noticed Nancy looked and felt depressed so we had a good talk and really helped each other. It is really humanism. We talked about Sancho Goma and she was worried because while she had been chanting it kept coming into her mind. She looked visibly upset at that. But I told her my experience. A couple days earlier I went through it, but its natural so I just resolved to change our relationship. After we talked together she seemed much relieved and I really saw the necessity of encouragement or the humanism of this practice.
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Tuesday, May 25, 1971
Worked on my term paper until afternoon. What a drag. That evening we had concert band practice at the Headquarters until 10:00. It was really successful. I’m finally getting better at reading and playing music. Afterwards I went to the section leader’s meeting. Really a benefit. When I got home I crashed. My mom splits for Mammoth tomorrow.
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Wednesday, May 26, 1971
58 days until Seattle-Unity was the subject at the May Leader’s meeting. We saw the Min-on film “See you in Seattle.” Sogohonbucho then spoke and related President Ikeda’s guidance. He talked about his experience on the Min-On tour from Los AngelesàSacramentoàSan FranciscoàHawaii. He told us about Murata’s change because of the Min-On of America and related his experience of Murata and his production manager. After 18 years of being titan, both of them because of their experience in America with Min-On have resolved to become strong disciples of Ikeda in Japan. Murata resolved to make it to Seattle to see Sogohonbucho. Murata cried out of happiness. It was the best time I ever heard Sogohonbucho speak. It was like we were talking just to each other. He’s amazing.
We got to play “Light Calvary” and the audience and we both delighted in that.
Talked with my Dad until late, more, planning.
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Sunday, May 30, 1971
YMD meeting was vigorous, Jr. Hancho’s lead a song. We had band practice today from 10 until 1. And oh what a practice. We marched, and marched and marched. My leg’s almost fell off, but we really accomplished something for unity and Seattle.
I crashed when I got home. When I got up, I got dressed to go over to Nancy’s to see if she would wash my Seattle uniform and maybe go to see 2001 with me. Just as I was ready, she knocked at the front door so we fed her dinner with us and we drove to her house put he clothes in the washer and split to 2001 and Catch 22. 2001 by Stanley Kubrick was really heavy in light of True Buddhism. Everywhere the space traveler went, they saw this big wooden slab (Dai Gohonzon).
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Monday, May 31, 1971
Today were the memorial services at Myohoji and we had Temple Yosohan. Soshibucho said we did a very good job as everything went smoothly for Sogohonbucho. The services were attended by a large crowd. Chico got his Gohonzon today, my first anniversary was also today. One year since I received Gohonzon.
Tuesday, June 1, 1971
In Man’s Religion’s I had had a test on the Bible and got it back. I thought I completely screwed it, but I ended up with a middle C.
Harvey Hall led a Guidance meeting tonight with other senior leaders. Emphasis was on Seattle and its significance. Larry Shaw emphasized the fact that this would be like Tozon, because in Seattle we could really capture Pres. Ikeda’s and Sogohonbucho’s Spirit. He also said that the YMD Brass Band had a tremendous mission shakukuing Seattle citizens in the Parade.
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Thursday, June 3, 1971
No school today, so I stayed home and studied, but unfortunately I still have not overcome my napping Karma. Brass Band was fantastic and the rhythm and Ichinen for Seattle is definitely growing. A composer who wrote Tokyo Konnichi-wa for us, conducted the band in that music. It was a very heart-warming experience.
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Friday, June 4, 1971
No other word can describe it but super heavy. I got back my history paper and comparative gov’t paper and to my surprise received B’s on both of them. Tonight we had a diamoku toso. The Gohonzon really brings out your karma, It’s like my ego really tries to take over, but now I can see it and am trying hard to change it…I can really see now that you don’t become enlightened by controlling your thoughts, for if you did I’d have one hell of a time.
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Wednesday, June 9, 1971
Well I finally finished finals at about three o’clock today and it is really a relief to be done with school for the summer. As you notice I did not fill in the last few days in my record. Tonight at the Headquarters I realized how little faith I have and how little I feel for Pres. Ikeda. But tonight I resolve that I am going to Seattle and find out what I am doing. Sometimes I feel so insufficient, and I know that my sincerity to change is really lacking. But I’ve been chanting 2 hours diamoku a day without fail. I think and hope that my attitude will change and that when I march down Fourth Street in Seattle that I really understand my life as well as feel Pres. Ikeda’s Spirit.
I realize that up until now my seeking mind has gone downhill, but I really want to find out what my life is about. I am going to try my best every day for Seattle. Maybe, then I can really meet my
Master or at least realize his spirit. My whole year at Valley State made me realize that I just didn’t care about a lot of things. But this summer I am going to study and read without fail.
Sometimes I just feel like hanging everything up, it just gets so heavy. Everything around the house seems very sluggish and I know its at its worst. So from today I resolve to change my life as much as I can until Seattle, and find out what Seattle is really about for me and my country. It is evident that I am not doing anything except leading a day to day existence. I must have dreams and goals.
For Seattle:
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Thursday, June 10, 1971
—New Day—
Win or Lose
Tonight’s Brass Band practice was another successful step towards Seattle. For some reason I was put into the advanced group. It surely is my benefit because I have to work harder to keep up and also our teacher is Gabriel Katona. He’s an arranger and composer for some big motion picture industry. He’s really a good leader.
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Friday, June 11, 1971
Got up early and chanted hard for a really constructive day. After Gongyo I washed clothes and did grocery shopping for the week. Oh and I had a benefit while I was cleaning out my desk in the dining room. I found that I had $17 left in my savings account. It was really a benefit because I needed money to pay off my uniform. So I went to the bank after shopping and withdrew $15.
The rest of the day I cleaned house and practiced my clarinet and helped my Dad. In the evening I went to a diamoku toso at our Chiku and my member Jason came along also. After the tos Phil, Robbie and I had money to turn into Shibucho, so Phil and I took down the money. As they say whenever you go to the Headquarters you get a benefit. Well, we did because we got to do Gongyo with Honbucho and afterwards he answered some questions.
A question was asked on Seattle by a new member, “What is the meaning of Seattle?” He said it was for the individual and in fact the best part in terms of human revolution is in preparation for Seattle and Seattle is the victory celebration. It was a great encouragement to me for Seattle.
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Saturday, June 12, 1971
We had a short YMD meeting with emphasis on unity through daimoku and Gongyo for Seattle. After the short meeting Sal drove me to trim Faye’s rose bushes. It took only an hour and it didn’t turn out bad at all. Faye’s mother invited Sal and I in after work for a root-beer and was impressed by our smiles and good work. I think we did a good shakubuki on her and changed her impression of Nichiren Shoshu for the better.
My member Jason didn’ make it to the meeting because he three a BB gun at his mothers. Really sansho shima for Seattle. Also one of my guests came but freaked out at the chanting and left before I even knew he had come to the meeting. Wow.
After the meeting Russ and I had a good talk about things in general. He’s going to raise fish. He chanted for an aquarium and got turned onto to 2. Wow.
I promised Nancy I would help her on a lesson for history after the meeting, so first we went to m house and had a bite to eat. And we talked to my dad for quite some time. Then we went to her place and I tried to work on an essay on the cold war, but it came very hard. After that we chanted together for about 20 minutes and we were interrupted by one of her brother’s impromptu parties. So we went to my house and chanted for about 20 more minutes about our problem. Afterwards we had a heavy conversation and also light hearted one about a lot of things. Then we started to get involved but both came to the realization that this type of relationship was really fruitless. We discovered or had a amazing realization that sex was very heavy on ego and once happening completely disregarded the other person as a human being. Sex had no feeling at all. But we talked and expressed our common feeling, the thing we had chanted for, came through in a way we did not think it could have. The whole experience was truly a benefit.
I also got a job today at Northridge Equipment rentals, chanting two hours a day really does yield some great benefits.
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Sunday, June 13, 1971
This morning we had a really vigorous and sincere YMD meeting with the first concrete emphasis on Seattle Yusohan movement. Steve Gore (butaicho) will be in charge of the movement of people safely, while Rod Burke will be in change of moving baggage. Fukahonbucho Harvey Hall emphasized L.A.#1’s importance in Seattle. He emphasized the future presence of the head of the Yusohan movement in Japan would be here, Mr. Fukashima, I believe.
After YMD we had a sincere BB practice with emphasis on the movement we would be doing before the judges stand for Sogohonbucho. We also heard that Sogohonbucho had selected “Stars and Stripes Forever” for the parade.
After practice I crashed for a couple of hours and my Dad waked me up after he got off work. Immediately I sat down at the dining room table and I wrote a fine essay on the beginnings of the Cold War. It came very easily. Just as I was about to finish Nancy came by and I read it to her. I was trying to figure out a conclusion, but it seemed with my last quotation I had concluded it without realizing it. So we talked about the essay and I went over to her place to make some phone calls to different people. Afterwards I did Gongyo with Jason and Nancy and got a ride home and chanted my remaining two hours, practiced my instrument and studied Buddhism and fell asleep.
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Monday, June 14, 1971
Today was hot as the devil, I think summer has arrived. ..Shibucho came to our meeting and my dad also made it to the meeting. It was really a good benefit for my dad to come to the meeting. After the meeting everyone talked and I talked to Nancy Schumow. She always gives me great encouragement when I’m down. I talked to her about my relationship with Nancy and she told me that because of it I would have to practice harder. At the same time it is a benefit, it can be sansho shima. It’s really a great relationship, but she said you go through hell a lot more. When one is stronger or weaker you can feel it. Everything is magnified greatly by such a problem. Wait until you promote together, you will get much closer.
I told her I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, except her. She told me that maybe my mission is different that’s why. But still I have to be a great YMD leader and outstanding in Brass Band. The Gohonzon must always be your basis. Once it is not you know how bad things are anyway.
Jim Jay and I went to his parents house and ate dinner and got World Tribune. I think we are getting closer, maybe because I am less uptight than I have been in the past.
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Tuesday, June 15, 1971
World Tribune.
Well, today I really have the determination to change our situation at home, so I started on the garage. I didn’t realize we had so many different items. It was really encouraging for our future garage sale…It must have reached 100 degrees today, boy it was warm.
Sal and I promoted tonight, but met no success in subscriptions. I talked to my Uncle Wally and then to Kim my cousin. I know she wants to change, but is too suppressed psychologically by her husband Ed. I really Shakubukued her by trying to wake her up, I think Gohonzon came through to her. Afterwards, Sal and I went over to Mike Schubert’s, but he was not home. His sister Julie, really asked a lot of questions. I feel she will be the first in the Schubert family to chant if anyone does. Mr. Schubert was extremely depressed because of his mother’s cancerous condition.
Got home about 11:15 and had a short talk with my Dad. He is trying, but it is hard for a non-member. They just don’t have any life force to get anything really accomplished. We set the date for a garage sale this Saturday.
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Wednesday, June 16, 1971
I really freaked out today and I am positive I know the solution. Shakubuku, Shakubuku, Shakubuku.
Honbucho lead the Family Revolution lecture tonight. It was really heavy. My faith must be growing because more of the Family Revolution is really striking home.
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Thursday, June 17, 1971
Worked around the house again getting ready for the garage sale.
This evening we got our music for Seattle. Sogohonbucho chose “Stars and Stripes Forever” by J.P. Sousa. It’s really strange because now I am hearing it everywhere. VW has a commercial that plays it, my ice cream man plays it. Wow! Seattle Away!
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Friday, June 18, 1971
Preparation day for the garage sale. Nancy came over after she got out of school and helped me. After we had been working we just came to say we didn’t really think there was really anything between us and the whole relation was really phony. Strange thing we both felt it.
Oh, last night I had a blow mind experience. I called up my old girl friend Judy Gold and she had practiced 2 months in Denver, but quit afterwards because she was turned off by a nagging hancho (most probably just her own nature) But I encouraged her to try again and she told me yes. She said she really got into it.
So she came to the Daimoku toso tonight. She really liked it.
The whole situation is really strange because just the night before I called her she got home and I had a dream that she was practicing and something really traumatic happened in her family.
When I called her she told me her older sister had attempted suicide and almost succeeded. Strange isn’t it?
My dad also came but did not chant much.
Afterwards Sal and I went out and promoted with little success. We Shakubukued my 2nd cousin William Harkness. Wow. It was really human revolution because he is really a straight cop type and backed the police action May 5th at SFVSC (San Fernando Valley State College, now Cal State University Northridge). But we kept our heads and did a good Shakubuku on him. Afterwards we went out to Shubert’s. Mike wasn’t there so we talked to Julie and Cindy.
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Saturday June 19, 1971
Well today was the day of the Garage Sale. Sal helped me set up and we got everything out. Early we didn’t get too much sold. When Nancy came over she went and chanted daimoku to my Gohonzon and business boomed. I made $50 for Seattle. That was my goal. I think this morning was even heavier. For dad came in and chanted 20 min with me on his own. I am sure it was as hard for both of us. I think that whole day was a karma-cutter.
I was late for the meeting which was really inexcusable. After the meeting we had a Jr. Hancho Meeting. Russ talked about Seattle and talked about what it is to be a leader. He said we are not trained to be plastic leaders, but our training is for our mission in life.
Ken and I promoted tonight, got 2 World Tribunes, not bad!
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Sunday, June 20, 1971
All I can say about Brass Band is that it is getting heavier and heavier as we get closer to Seattle. The two or three hours we marched were hell. It must really be cutting my lazy karma.
The smog was so bad my eyes were burning and when I got home I crashed for an hour. Wow!
After I struggled to get up my dad and I at Father’s Day Dinner at Howard Johnson’s. What a good meal! Afterwards I think we found an apartment. It’s perfect. 3 minute walk from Valley State, close to Dad’s work, close to the Chiku.
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Monday, July 5, 1971
While I was working at the apartment a very strange thing happened. It was my first encounter with a member of the Hokeko Association of Japan. The Hokkeko member practice everything, but Shakubuku. But withouth Shakubuku they are not able to change their destiny or evil nature. I could really tell in Itsue (Sam) because he seemed prejudice against Soka Gakkai. He called the members low-class. But I really Shakubukued him and told him that they were human beings also and this woke him a little. I said I was a student and he said, good. I think his impression of Nichiren Shoshu is changing much. How about that! He had a small Gohonzon around his neck and he showed it to me. I guess such a Gohonzon should be opened once a year.
I don’t think Itsue knows what Gongyo is although he has had Gohonzon for 33 years (his age also). I really see why Nichiren Shoshu as an Organization is so important to carry out our human revolution.
After the Garage sale it doesn’t seem like Dad and I got much accomplished. One Friday he had off seemed completely wasted looking for an apartment. That morning we chanted together for ½ an hour. It really must have been the start of heavy Family Revolution, because ever since, my bad nature has been coming out around my dad. Whenever it does I feel very bad for making him feel miserable instead of encouraging him. However I am now slowly changing that attitude little by little.
My first pay check $131 I gave to my dad to help pay rent. I got the $131 before Seattle so I could be paid Seattle with my earned money, which is a good feeling. But the $140 (my Gov’t. tax refund was due me from my dad so he helped me out.
We have not yet sold the horses or dogs. But I am confident that soon we will see good fortune enter our lives. But, oh those head trips, wow. They are extremely ugly and confusing. At Band practice on Sunday July 4th I felt close to going crazy. I am serious of that. I feel on the edge. At times I feel like throwing the towel in, but for some reason, I don’t know what, I am still pushing.
I am completely cutting out Sansho Goma for Nancy Whitman by trying harder on YMD activities. Russ separated us fortunately for both of us. I am a YMD not an aspiring MD. It is still hard to avoid Sansho Goma however, but it sure feels good to be off that trip.
We arrived at the Headquarters at 6:30 and Vice President Morita did not arrive until 9:30, so I chanted 3 hours and 10 minutes daimoku to the Joju Gohonzon. After Gongyo, V.P. Morita related Pres. Ikeda’s message to American members to carry faith because we have such an important mission, each one of us.
Everytime I see Vice President Morita I really go through a lot of hell. He’s really a benefit! I can’t imagine what Tozon will be like. I can’t wait!!
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Tuesday, July 6, 1971
As each day brings nearer the Seattle Convention, it seems I am getting more confused and frustrated. Today I worked on a part for Clarinet section music folders and then my mom came in from Mammoth. We had a good honest talk about the family and ourselves. It was really revealing. She said she had been reading Family Revolution and she said she’s been going through Human Revolution and I replied, Yeh, even more than you know. In the evening, we had a Brass Band Practice at Valley State. It seems so hard to get my Ichinen together for Seattle, either I’m going through super numbers or I just am completely lazy and lax. Damn!
My “don’t care nature” has been coming out and dammit, I wish I could get it together.
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Wednesday, July 7, 1971
Today was the worst, but the best. I have never slept so long in my life. It was terrible, I just could not move. I talked to Russ of my problem and he really gave me great encouragement to look ahead. He said you’re not alone in freaking out, everyone practically goes insane. I went home and chanted daimoku and practiced my instrument.
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Thursday, July 8, 1971
This morning I received a very encouraging letter from my brother Ron. I know living at Mammoth is probably best for his Human Revolution, even though he doesn’t realize it now.
This evening we got to try on our uniforms. Totally amazing. After we got dressed in them Sogohonbucho came up and gave us great encouragement for Seattle. He said, “The other Band may have $500 uniforms, but inside they are dead, yours are less, but nice, but smiling faces make them most important. We did not get uniforms to look nice or have bands to look and sound good, but everything we do is for Kosenrufu!
He told us of a shoe salesman who went to an outer island in Japan and wired back to the manager, no chance—no one wears shoes here. The manager had a different view. Oh, but it looks great—so many shoes will be sold. The same with Gohonzon. Only a handful in Seattle have heard of Gohonzon, but through your music, parade, Min-on, etc., more people will hear and understand that there is a beautiful life waiting in Gohonzon. Millions of people to Shakubuku, isn’t it wonderful?! AAO! AAO! AAO!
I have the feeling no matter how shitty things get with me if I follow Sogohonbucho and Pres. Ikeda things will be wonderful in the future.
My mom and dad I am sure are going to get a divorce. But Pres. Ikeda’s guidance is all true. With my enlightenment and change in destiny they will also become happy and change…I really don’t worry.
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Friday, July 9th, 1971— Wow! 2 weeks to Seattle.
We had daimoku toso tonight and afterwards Russ talked to me about Jason. He said that he is only 12 and so I must treat him like 12 and encourage him as a good friend and forget about training him as a YMD.
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Saturday, July 10, 1971
Today I helped pack around the house and it was so frustrating. My worse nature is really coming out around my parents. But I apologized to my mom. I must change it.
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Sunday, July 11, 1971
Today was really amazing from beginning to end. After YMD Gongyo, we did Kosen-rufu Gongyo with Sogohonbucho. Afterwards he gave a Gosho lecture which really encouraged my faith greatly (May Seikyo Times ).
After the Gosho lecture we had a successful Brand Band Practice at Hollywood Park until 4:00. It was smoggy, but cooler than the Valley. After Band we hurried home to prepare for the arrival of Mr. Fukushima from Japan. This time Beverly Hills and Malibu met at the airport. I was a Yusohan and had the great priviledge of shaking Mr. Fukishima’s hand and carrying his luggage to the World Tribune Bus.
Afterwards, I promoted World Tribune to Tony. That situations is changing. I got a ride with Nancy Whitman chanted all the way, slept on the way home. At the Shibu, Schumow & Whitman goofed up the W.T., but it got straightened out. I asked Russ about my brother’s W.T. and he called me a punk for talking back at him. I am still mad at him for that.
I talked harshly at Nancy Schumow and got scolded for it Tuesday night.
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Monday, July 12, 1971
Work was a super drag today. But this evening was really amazing. We had a YMD meeting with Mr. Fukishima, the Youth Division Chief. Everything he talked about was so beautiful. I wrote everything I could catch in my lecture book pg. 15-23. My feeling was one of great excitement, but still that isn’t the word. I learned a great deal about Gohonzon and Pres. Ikeda that night.
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Tuesday, July 13, 1971
Today was another heavy day at work. They all seem so hard. Today Dad got laid off. The Sansho Shima before Seattle is unbelievable. Last night I got scolded really severely by Russ and today, all day I felt like beating his face in. My worst nature is coming out.
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Wednesday, July 14, 1971
Today my life hit a super low ebb. I worked, but when I got home, I completely crashed. I still haven’t enshrined Jason’s Gohonzon. That is such a bad feeling…I got up at 8:30 did Gongyo and daimoku and crashed. What a waste of a day. Shit!
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Thursday, July 15, 1971
Well, today went much better. Instead of working at the yard, I mowed Mr. Groff’s lawn. It was a good work day. After work I came home and took a swim which was refreshing and then later went to Brass Band at SFVSC.
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Friday, July 16, 1971
Well Sansho Shima Strikes Again! Today I got laid off. Strange I feel pinched, but not that bad. After Seattle I will get a job. I got home I crashed until 5:30 and could not get a ride to Band practice. So I hitched from Nordhoff, chanted for a ride (of course) and got one immediately to Overland on the Santa Monica Freeway, meanwhile shakubukuing my transporter. He as first was super down on it, but Gohonzon really Esho funi’ed him After I waited for about 5 minutes got a ride from a member (I tell you Seattle shirts carry great benefit !) and it happened she was not going to the Honbu, but turning left on Lincoln which incidentally (hah! hah!) was where I was going. I had to just walk across the street and I was there. It’s really strange. Whenever I really need a benefit and I don’t believe—it does happen. (But I still don’t understand about the horses. They still haven’t sold.
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Saturday, July 17, 1971
With only 5 days to Seattle, such excitement and progress is definitely being made in my human revolution. Today I believe a giant stride forward was taken. We moved today and probably Monday will be living in our new apartment. I really feel cleansed of a lot of junk, and as I sit in the apartment now, by candlelight, I feel like a pioneer in the great new civilization. It is definitely a great feeling. I think these days will be the greatest of my memories.
Wisdom, Glory, & Passion—Third American Student Congress.
J.F.K. once said, “World Peace is a daily process.”
Gary Curtis related Pres. Ikeda’s guidance to “fuse into society.”
The Canadian delegate said, “More shakubuku and more daimoku. Time to construct, not complain. Pres. Ikeda encourages us to be foremost.
The delegate from Hawaii said, “What is culture? The zadankai meeting.”
Mr. Fukishima spoke. “From the bottom of my heart, Congratulations to Glorious Third American Student Congress! Such a youthful, bright, cheerful members of Student Division meeting. If President Ikeda attended he be very happy. President Ikeda make such a fantastic foundation. On this July Student Congress, this July very meaningful month. July 4, 1776—thirteen colonies declared independence. President Toda, the second President who was imprisoned was released on July 3rd.
July is month of revolution. Most meaningful meeting right now. This meeting must be turning point. Don’t you think so? Hai! ”
“This July is a very important meeting. Sokagakkai 20 years ago inaugurated. President Toda say: ‘New generation depend on passion and strength of youth.’ Create a new world means creation, means not Christian, but something as never existed before. Such passion means youthful searching of true idealism…strength means believing in Dai-Gohonzon.”
“In America today generally several 100 thousand young losing targets for future. Furthermore all you are studying in college or University because of Gohonzon, your study return with great wisdom. Crisis you face now are most important. What should be done? Greatness of master only shown by disciples. At work—image greatest of master. We are prince and princesses of Nichiren Daishonin. Must overcome obstacles.”
Sogohonbucho said, “I move that next May at USC we hold Student Congress.”
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Wednesday, August 11, 1971
Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve written in my record, but I will try my best to record the last days. The period before Seattle was absolutely amazing. Like Shibucho said, the convention is the preparation, the convention itself is the victory party. But still the Seattle Convention was great human revolution. I was really chanting to do something. I realized it is never too late to start so I resolved in my daimoku to do such. It I believe was a great benefit to me.
July, 19, Tuesday 20? After Brass Band (I was laid off work on Monday, so I decided not to look for work until after Seattle) I asked Gary Murie if he needed any help at all. I was in rhythm he did. So for the next three days all I got to look at was music. That night we started putting together the music for the 500 members of America Joint Headquarters Brass Band. We didn’t work too late. Wednesday morning
I helped my dad move until about noon and hitched down to the Hdqt’s. I got one ride from Nordhoff to the front steps of the Honbu. I shakubukued an assistant of the Santa Monica District Attorney and he just drove me all the way, far out! He was interested, said he had attended meetings before, along time ago. That day we worked on the music quite long and I copied music until late afternoon. That is when I really cut a lot of karma. The copying machine broke down and so Orlando said shiki-shin-funi-esho funi —so let’s go chant some daimoku so it gets fixed.
I really got yelled at by Tony Sugano and he said, “This could stop the whole convention.” You should have seen the expression on my face. Whew. It’s really true, everything in the Headquarters runs on Ichinen . It took a senior leader to fix the machine it definitely shows the power of Gohonzon. So we worked on music until about two and wrapped it up for that night.
So Bob Ludovise, Barry and I jetted home and spent some time scarfing at Barry’s—we stayed there. Chanted an hour and slept from 5 until 10 that morning. So they couldn’t go to the Headquarters because of their jobs, so Barry drove me to get my suitcase packed and dropped me off at the Freeway on Roscoe. I immediately got a ride to Santa Monica and another ride down Santa Monica Blvd. and took the Bus to the Beach for two bits.
Tom and I worked on the music and about four in the afternoon, Gary Murie, Tom and I went to Lunch at the Brown Bag. Good food, good music, good people. After lunch we found out that the deadline was 8:00 that morning. So Bob, Barry and I worked all night. What a heavy cause, never have I been so spaced in my whole life. I can’t write the experience inside very easily on paper. But I think I cut a lot of ego problems. I really like doing things at the Honbu.
We completed the music 10 minutes before the deadline. It was definitely the power of the Gohonzon.
Thursday afterwards I took a good nap and went to a daimoku toso at the Chiku. Friday was busy as hell, getting ready for the flight.
Tonight I am really forcing myself to write about the Seattle Convention. At this moment I am going through the heaviest numbers I think I have encountered in my practice. What it is, I can’t just pin down.
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Friday, July 23, 1971
When I boarded the plane, it didn’t seem like it was real, because we had waited so long and worked hard for the convention. I still cannot even comprehend what happened after I boarded the plane. It was a strange trip, that I can’t understand. It was such a space out.
On the flight up, I was going through numbers, it was shitty. But I Shakubukued a stewardess.
X
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Sunday, August 15, 1971
Forget the past, live the present.
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Monday, August 16, 1971
Last night I totally freaked out. I ripped off my shirt, tore it apart, ripped up my music book, and was totally upset. Sometimes, this practice gets pretty heavy for me. Last night I, or my bad nature wanted to destroy the Gohonzon. But when I opened the butsudon, I couldn’t do it and got a strange terrible pain in my chest. I was completely destroying my dad with my attitude it was really terrible now that I think back about it. I completely resolved not to chant anymore but to leave my Gohonzon enshrined. And there is some nature, no it is my condition that I won’t talk to Shibucho about it. He never makes me feel like I can open up to him, I just feel like a punk . That’s another thing. I really hate myself for some reason. I just hate me. It’s the worst feeling. Whenever I maybe encouraging someone, I hear my voice and go, “that’s not me,” and freak out.
I’m so plastic , I really hate myself. I have no friends, that I can call friends really, I must really be a f..... individual. I have no confidence, no family really, my face is f....., my health is poor, I sleep all day, I do nothing, I’m f......, I cut my dad—you know I really don’t like me.
But I try to get members, I used to do and was doing a lot of Shakubuku, but nobody will follow me because I am a punk! But I tried hard, no luck or whatever. S... on it!
I’m constantly thinking about everything, I can’t relax.
We are having a Shakubuku campaign and tonight we had five guests. Our second meeting at 9:30 was good, I gave an explanation. After the experience and question and answer practice (joke) session we received gifs from President Ikeda and the High Priest. Post Cards and scarfs commemorating the completion of the Sho Hondo or commemorative to those who donated. But Pres. Ikeda gave us scarves even if we didn’t. Thank you very much.
This morning I didn’t do Gongyo until 1:30 in the afternoon. I was very serious about not chanting. But I did Gongyo and couple minutes of daimoku. I’m going crazy.
It’s hard to chant daimoku. My dad told me he chanted about 10 minutes yesterday.
Man I just don’t know what to think. S...!
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Tuesday, August 17, 1971
Jr. Hancho Meeting
Goals of Sogohonbucho.
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Monday, August 23, 1971
Summer is going by so fast, it really is a mind boggler . Friday night I got guidance from Guy McCloskey my Shibucho and it straightened out a lot of thing in my practice. It was really a benefit to be able to talk to him. One day last week I went taitan in my head and refused to do Gongyo, but ended up doing it at 1:30. I really felt good after I did it. Gongyo is far out.
One day I encountered a “Jesus freak.” He knew Nichiren Shoshu because he had been a member for 2 ½ years and burned his Gohonzon. I will never forget the terrible condition of his life. I could tell he was in hell, before he even said a word. His head was like they say split into 7 pieces. Very strange, I really see the terrible condition and effects of Christianity today.
I did a lot of Shakubuku this week, but am determined to do much more! I’ve really been encountering a lot of Christian heavies, but man am I cutting that karma.
My brother came down last week and it brought a big argument and he split. I really felt bad about it because my Dad’s nature comes out on Ron in a bad way. I hadn’t done morning Gongyo yet, but did after he left. I really chanted hard for Hendoku Iyaku “changing poison into medicine.”
Immediately after Gongyo I could not stay awake, so my Dad and I went to sleep and woke at 1:30, saying we’ve got to get out of this rut. So I said I want to look at some butsudon’s, so I ended up putting $10 down on a nice cabinet I’m going to make into a butsudon. It is definitely a benefit. So after we went out and ate and for some reason stopped at the Builder’s Emporium. We had already passed it but turned back and went in.
After looking around for about 10 minutes we ran into Rick Richards and I introduced him to my Dad. My Dad was hit very strongly by Rick’s Shakubuku. My Dad attended his first meeting on Saturday Aug. 21, 1971, a day I will not forget.
I had one experience last week which I must write down because it is a very important benefit to my practice. One night, Rudy, my member stayed over. Because of that a girl he met, Linda, came over here, after being kicked out, to get Rudy’s #. I let her stay here. It was a bad slander to Buddhism to let someone us my home as a crash pad, but I though it would be a good Shakubuku. It was the worst! You are a Bodhisattva not a Christian, practice like me. More mercy, better Shakubuku to not let them take advantage of you.
The girl ate our food without asking and never really thanked us. Never again!
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Monday, August 23, 1971
This morning I resolved that I must have strong goals or determination for goals. During Gongyo I will write them down.
Tuesday, August 24, 1971
Tonight we had the Barbeque for the WLC students at UCLA. Dad, Rich Rodey and I went together. The Min-On really showed oneness between the audience and performer when “United Life” played Master Plan everyone ended up on the stage and really felt so good. Yeah!
Good Shakubuku on everyone including the UCLA Professors.
Thursday, August 26, 1971
Today, I worked down at the New LA #1 Headquarters. It is coming along very nice. At about 8:30 I went to the Headquarters for Concert Band. We did a recording of Anchors Aweigh and Sensei for the New Seattle Convention film. We did some other songs which weren’t recorded, but wow were they trippy. We did some songs which really signify the unending spirit of Sogohonbucho for our Space Age Convention. Blue Danube Waltz, and another song from 2001, plus a heavy composition called spectrum, orchestration + computer music.
Friday, August 27, 1971
I refused in my mind to go to the meeting. It is such a super bad feeling one can not really express it in words. At 10:00 I chanted an hour daimoku and Gongyo. I felt much better. What Russ has said about my lack of consistency is absolutely true. My daimoku is like an electrocardiogram. I better wake up!
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Saturday, August 28, 1971
I called Russ in the morning and I was severely scolded, but it was really what I needed. It was very encouraging for some reason.
Tonight was the first night we had a Shakubuku meeting at Nancy Whitman’s in about 2 months. We had three meetings. The second meeting I Shakubukued a girl in a park and she came to the meeting. It was a great encouragement to me to be able to introduce a guest. The second meeting we had two guests. If I feel down I always will feel a great boost in courage because of the meeting.
After the meeting, I rode to the Chiku with a member of the drum section. I chanted daimoku with the drums and afterwards got a ride home in Roger W. new Mazda. Nice car. We talked about our parent’s practicing~ his mother, my father. He said, he caught himself wanting to give his mother guidance, but now immediately gets her to a senior leader. That’s a good hint to my practice with Dad.
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Sunday, August 29, 1971
This morning really felt like a fresh start to my practice. My Dad drove me to the Chiku at 7:00 and he was really in high spirits, it made me feel very happy inside. We arrived in time to catch our breathe for Gongyo with Larry Shaw. Brass Band was very vigorous and high spirited.
The Maneuvers we worked on today were extremely challenging. As far as we know we are the only marching band that has tried a moving spiral since Nazi Germany 30 years ago. It is indescribable.
After Practice we sang Sensei and called for the clarinet section. I felt uneasy take leadership, but only through making attempts can you gain benefit through Gohonzon. I asked Gary Murie about Jay Stone not being there and he said it’s up to you. You take the initiative. Call Jay Stone and say, “The Clarinets are wondering if you’re still the section leader?”
Afterwards we worked at the New Headquarters and Phil, Ken Tapola, Chico, and I painted the back fence. Good benefit.
After the meeting everyone gravitated towards Russ and he stressed that from now on everyone must practice because he is not going to wait for people that are freaking out, but is going to steadily march to Sho-Hondo. He related that after Sho-Hondo a lot of regret will be happening because people did not practice with their full effort. “Everyone in our district has a chance to be in the Sho-Hondo Opening Ceremony.” But right now everyone is just sitting wiping their ____must fight harder. Take the initiative myself. Form your own nucleus. More Shakubuku.” Immediately afterwards I just did lots of Shakubuku. Must continue no matter how bad I am freaking out!
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Monday, August 30, 1971
Worked 8 hrs. sanding eves on a house. Two meetings tonight were successful. I did Shakubuku before the meeting, but no guests. I must have been noticeably discouraged, because Russ drew me aside after the meeting and told me not to get discouraged, everyone’s mission is different, some can immediately draw in 8 guests, but some cut the district’s karma. Shakubuku is a joint effort.
We finally got a telephone in today. My Brother Ron is coming down for 3 days. He just spent time in Sun Valley, Idaho.
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Wednesday, September 1, 1971
Ron got in this morning from Las Vegas via Greyhound, so Dad and I picked him up and then went to the Butsudon shop. It is good to see Ron. It is very strange however, because he really brings out my karma extremely heavily.
This evening we spent together and saw “Andromeda Strain” and “Colossus.” One was about Bio warfare and the other about machine as the master.
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Thursday, September 2, 1971
Worked at the Headquarters until 9:30 masking walls, so we could stucco the ceilings. At 10:00 we had a Jr. Hancho meeting lead by Steve Bell. He went over Resolutions, goals, guidance and what we develop from it. We went over songs and their great importance. The meetings showed me exactly where I was at and how and where I needed to change. I cut a lot of karma.
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Friday, September 3, 1971
Ron, Dad, and I did a lot of odds and ends. I really felt that I didn’t accomplish anything, but being with Ron was a good benefit.
Saturday, September 4, 1971
Ron and Dad came to the Monthly Leader’s meeting tonight. It was the best meeting I have been to yet. They showed the new Seattle film.
Sogohonbucho just got back and related Pres. Ikeda’s guidances. He talked of people who began practicing in the 3rd period 1965-1971. He said they “have joined in the Golden Age of Kosen-rufu…Non-members are unable to measure NSA, so welcome their opinions, but always carry faith. After all faith is faith…Emphasized sticking close to senior leaders…study language.”
“Sho-hondo is the happiness of all mankind. Shakubuku is like an underground stream. Lay foundations now! Steady movement. Protect Unity! Starting in January 1972, write your history of Kosen-rufu through October 12, 1975.”
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Sunday, September 5, 1971
Spent the day with my Dad and brother at the Ontario “500” race. I really enjoyed the outing very much. I love my brother very much and my Dad. I had one beer and was knocked on my ----. After the Race I did Shakubuku a lot of people. I am slowly realizing what Shakubuku is all about. It does not matter whether or not they tell you to get lost, because those types just take your karma, so Shakubuku anytime, anyplace, anyone. I am finding that just the time or person you might not Shakubuku is usually the big benefit.
Ron left tonight. I didn’t want him to leave, but I know it is necessary. Dad spent entirely too much money when Ron was here, but, why worry? What has been done should not be worried about. Honnin-myo!
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Monday, September 6, 1971
Woke up to the sound of rain pattering off the roof. It was an extremely beautiful day. As soon as I finished Gongyo, I took a bike ride after the rain. I love it. Wow! Everything smelled pure, and the clouds had distinct lines. The evening you could see distinct shadows, not obliterated by the smog.
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Tuesday, September 7, 1971
Quite hot and humid because of the rain yesterday. Dad did Gongyo together with me. It took an hr and 10 minutes, but we did it. I got a hell of a lot accomplished today and my schedule helped I’m sure. I didn’t crash all day which is a change for me.
Last night I brought a guest, Nina, she’s a bicycler. I’m sure she’s a Bodhisattva. We had a good Shakubuku meeting with four guests.
After the meeting I split and did a lot of Shakubuku on the way home. I reshakubukued these two Jesus freaks that had titaned from Nichiren Shoshu. They dress good, but their lives are ugly and feel extremely wicked. They really slander Gohonzon, but do they cut my karma. They’re so ugly.
But ten minutes later I shakubukued a guy from Valley Jr. College that works at Valley State and he gave me his address.
I must continue fighting for Kosen-rufu, under all circumstances. I must not stop for anyone.
Dad bought me dinner and gave me $20 to pay off my bike. We were really scraping for money, but he collected $85 installment he had forgotten about. It will make things much easier and comfortable.
Today, I started keeping a household expense account.
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Wednesday, September 8, 1971
Tonight we had a Gosho lecture with Sogohonbucho. It was strange, because I really am starting to feel my mission in life. Pres. Ikeda’s guidance has taken on an entirely different dimension for me.
Gosho Lecture on Shonin Chi Sanze Ji delivered by Sogohonbucho at the Santa Monica Civic.
“A holy person knows three existences of life. Pres. Ikeda says: “Most important prime point is what to do now for the future.” Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo know past, present, & future. Pres. Ikeda explains, “From now we should have confidence in Nichiren Shoshu and in Dai-Gohonzon. Do not be afraid, be courageous!”
“You are leaders of generation today. As leaders you must understand what kind of generation now. You stand up yourself first. You should know what people are looking for. If you don’t, you are backsliders. How to guard such generation. Responsibility-take care, using common sense. Everyone is a star. Happy Zandankai, Happy members.”
Respect Sr. Citizens, they know so much.
Ri-Establishment; Sho-Justice; An-safe; koku-country; Sho-Buddhism.
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Thursday, September 9, 1971
Played Shostakovich Finale, Symphony No. 5. It is a very powerful piece. Jr. Concert Band is catching up fast. They gave a good recital after Band practice. Russ was the conductor.
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Friday, September 10, 1971
Woke up in a very arrogant mood. I really hate such a feeling. You feel very loose inside. Just have to keep chanting even if your head goes off on weird trips, because it’s your life that becomes enlightened. Your head can be that great obstacle; so its only through daily practice that a young sapling becomes a strong tree.
Had a Shakubuku meeting and Ken’s Dad Nillo Tapola came. It was a funny meeting. Carol’s experience was great.
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Saturday, September 11, 1971
The highlight of my Day as seeing Sogohonbucho enshrine the Joju Gohonzon at our new Headquarters. It was beyond words. After Gongyo when he turned around his life, his eyes are just so beautiful, I felt tears in my life. I feel so happy when I’m around him. He encourages you so much through his life. He said that our Gohonzon is the first in America, November 3, 1963, enshrined by the High Priest Nittatsu Shonin and with Pres. Ikeda. He talked about Hosshaku Kempon , and how we are going through the same human revolution from Transient to True Teaching. I can’t parrot what he said, but I can really feel it, but can’t write it.
He also said that we “must use that Headquarters. Pres. Ikeda is here 24 hours a day. Just chant daimoku and you will fuse with him for guidance. The Gohonzon has Pres. Ikeda’s name on it, and his whole Ichinen is here with it.”
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Sunday, September 12, 1971
Today was the opening ceremony, but I am much happier to have seen Sogohonbucho the first to enshrine Joju Gohonzon and actually the beginning of Honmon with Gohonzon. It was a great beginning.
Tonight we promoted World Tribune. No success, but we planted a lot of seeds.
Monday, September 13, 1971
Tonight 5 of my guests did not show up, but before the meeting I did Shakubuku. Two of my Shakubuku from that evening came. If felt so good.
Tuesday, September 14, 1971
Tonight we did World Tribune promotion. I rode my bike, but met with little success, but seeds were planted. I learn much each time however, I guess it must be successful.
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Wednesday, September 15, 1971
My days had been going poorly, but that will change. Tom Cole my new boss called to tell me I have been hired for the job at the Ski Shop. Tonight I had a guest Dave. He came with me to the Headquarters meeting. He loved it. I really hope he practices. I am chanting hard for the first time to have a member of my own. I must make it! But must not stop.
He chanted with me also at the New Headquarters. Russ told me yesterday morning—No guidance. Lead your members to Shibucho!!
The meeting started off with a Gakkai song and was followed by determinations or experiences of people who promoted 25 or more World Tribune. Then it got to 10 and Shibucho asked if anyone had anything else to say.
So I got up and gave my experience to this moment. I said I wasn’t doing well, but have learned why, because my other World Tribune were just neighbors and one time shots. Now I’ve realized that I have no members so I must do more Shakubuku.
Soshibucho said that he used to shrink when they had to give WT reports. He also did the worst. But he said, it our fortune, it is good to feel shame, guilt, etc., because it is for our Human Revolution. Otherwise we will not know the value of World Tribune.
…He also said read Human Revolution; strangely it is different every time you read it. Definitely guidance to you from Pres. Ikeda. You can get closer to Sogohonbucho, Honbucho, and other Sr. leaders this way.
Resolutions should be strong willed, like Mr. Fukushima leads a song.
He also read a letter from a NY member and a Look editor showing the power of the Gohonzon.
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Saturday, September 18, 1971
Had a YMD meeting at Phil’s. Russ stressed the District split. He said that there are essentials for a discussion meeting. What are they?
Good lighting, discussion table, Gohonzon at a height everyone can see, ashtrays, water glass for leader of meeting, pencil/paper for plan.
Afterwards Dad and I made ice cream for the wedding. Sure is good. It’s sort of nice to sit around on Saturday, but at the same time that feeling lasts only for an hour or so and then you need something to do. I can’t wait until school starts.
Fantastic discussion meeting. Two of my Shakubuku came to the meeting on their own. They are young, but they are chanting and already getting benefits. Randy got a good buy on a motorcycle and Todd got a motorcycle and even a good teacher he wanted. Todd says his brother tells him to shut up when he is chanting, but his mother tells him to chant.
After the meeting I visited Dan Kimball at Dales. We talked through a milk box which he was stacking. He wants World Tribune. I think he will chant. I really hope so.
Everyday I am getting more phone numbers, I really can’t stop, but must get a good Jr. Han started and advance in my happiness.
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Sunday, September 19, 1971
Well, today Nancy Schumow got married. The wedding was absolutely beautiful and the weather at Myohoji was the most refreshing and clear I’ve seen yet.
The reception was a gas. Russ, Jim and Rich played for the wedding. The music was original and good at that. The wedding will be a good memory.
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Friday, September 24, 1971
At this moment I am very dissatisfied in the direction I have been going all summer. Although it has been the worst summer I have learned a great deal from such an experience.
Moving from a house with a family into an apartment with my dad has been great human revolution.
Often I have not widened my life this summer the way I wanted to. But now I am at least realizing what it means to me to stand alone. Too often I am someone else around Russ and Jim and other members and not me. It’s time that changes that is why I started practicing because Buddhism allows you to change the way You want to.
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Tuesday, September 28, 1971
Beautiful autumn day and equally beautiful benefit to be going to school again this fall. Ran into three or four Brass Band member, and its always good to see members. My Urban Scene class was so inspiring that I can’t express the enthusiasm I have for the department in words. As Professor Lamb said that we are not just “pilots” for the urban situation, but of also a new re-establishment of humane education.
Russ mentioned a very important thing this morning about which I must take note. I have a very rude nature, especially a big head when I get Shakubuku. He said I’m so selfish in that when I’m freaking out, I let it out around the wrong people, and don’t hold it in. I have a terribly rude nature.
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Monday, October 4, 1971
Right now we are in the middle of a big Shin’ichi Yamamoto Shakubuku campaign. Sogohonbucho is in Japan with modern Abutsubo’s. We though are not standing still, but are the modern Shin’ichi Yamamoto’s fighting vigorously while our Abutsubo’s are reporting to the Dai-Gohonzon and meeting Pres. Ikeda. It is a difficult time, but my benefits are great. School is really fantastic and I have five people who joined and are interested enough to try Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. But now the difficult part is to come.
My personal Shakubuku goal is 15. I have 5, but the hardest 10 are yet to come. I am really feeling happier everyday. I just must continue to develop with a steady rhythm.
Number 1: more daimoku.
2: more Shakubuku.
3: closer communication.
4: Better son.
5: Harder study.
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Tuesday, October 5, 1971
Tonight
I found
I don’t like to play games anymore.
Games between people…
I did, why I know…
It hurts very much to see
That we can’t just deal in reality….
Too many false assertions
Not enough of me
Why, I know
It hurts,
It must change
Again I must chant for a beautiful
Relationship
Pres. Ikeda knows
That is why it is so fantastic
To be with other Bodhisattvas
To know that they too
Wish to break down the
Ugly plastic wall.
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Wednesday, October 6, 1971
Today,
I went to school, but in an
Ugly condition I did no Shakubuku.
We had a meeting at the Shibu
Hitchhike.
My nature is overcome
That nature which feels blah,,,
I did it, so now my spirits
Are higher and again I realize a
Bit more about the great happiness
From Gohonzon,
Three Shakubuku on the way; a
Fantastic cause for revolution
Changing and bringing out
My happiness, and
Remembering why I started to
Practice…
Happy Shakubuku spirit.
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Wednesday, October 6, 1971
~Letter to My Mother I Never Sent
Mom, It is very difficult for me to write you for some reason. I feel so very far away from you even as a son. I could write to you and tell you just how school is going, but would be sort of plastic you know. Sometimes the division of our family really hits me very deeply and I feel so strange. But the Gohonzon works and so I know that someday you will be very happy and again we can live a great happy life with Gohonzon as our fountain of youth and happiness. All of this may sound very strange and foreign to you, but someday you will understand how priceless life and human bonds are..Presently I can’t come up to visit you because maybe I can’t stop fighting for my own human revolution. Maybe, nay someday for sure we will have a reunion that is based upon something much more firm than either you or I can understand. But everyday I do think about you, Mom I love you.
Jim
Thursday, October 7, 1971
Shakubuku
I’ve found
If you avoid doing it, or
Put it off, it’s like not doing
Gongyo,
Today,
A million excuses
Too much time thinking, all was Theory
Not enough time practicing.
Shakubuku is never easy,
So every moment I must strive
To Discover, or strive to accomplish my
Daily mission.
Tonight, I resolved to do Gongyo to
Be “futuristic” as Pres. Ikeda mentioned
In his “Reflections on Youth: a Time of Construction.”
Youth passes too fast
Just Shakubuku
Without a second thought;
Of course its easier to say than
Do, but work hard and drive those
Piles deep
For construction
Of happiness.
Saturday night we had 12 Shakubuku sign Gohonzon applications. At 11:15 we chanted at the #1 Headquarters the same time Sogohonbucho and American members saw Dai-Gohonzon. What can I say?
Sunday my Shakubuku Dave Whitman received Gohonzon at Myohoji. We also did Kosen-rufu Gongyo .
Saturday night we also achieved our goal of 1000 Shakubuku. I will never forget this campaign. It will be a great memory.
When Dave received his Gohonzon, it was a happy moment for me. When he was driving me home he said, “I overheard what Nancy said about a good friend taking her to a meeting and then quitting. My sister did the same thing. When other people Shakubukued me my bad nature really came out. They tried to get me to buy World Tribune. But when you Shakubukued me it was different. You gave me a Seikyo Times; you gave me stuff. That blew my mind.”
Now I know the sayings true: right time, right place, right circumstances.
Tonight we had our Sho-Hondo ceremony with Pres. Ikeda in Japan. After Gongyo during daimoku a film of last year’s ceremony was shown. I really felt like I was at the ceremony.
Soshibucho Gary Curtis said that the Sho-Hondo was the greatest importance in our practice. It’s completion is not symbolic, but it is as real as the Great Secret Laws of Daimoku and Dai-Gohonzon.
Up until October 12, 1972 you might say Dai-Gohonzon has been exclusive property of Nichiren Shoshu. But Nichiren said the Dai-Gohonzon was property of Ichinen Budai or the universe. So as of October 12, 1972 the Dai-Gohonzon is for all mankind. In fact Pres. Ikeda is going to invite all World Leaders to chant or see and chant to the Dai-Gohonzon for World Peace. Then Kosen-rufu…
One girl had a Shakubuku experience I must record. She was to be a hostess at the Biltmore for a McGovern rally or dinner. She wanted instead to do Shakubuku that day for the meeting. Well, she couldn’t, so chanted hard to show the power of the Gohonzon. Once she arrived there were 40 other hostesses she said who looked like they had been in the business 500 years. But for some reason the head lady pointed to her and said you are the leader.
So she had to organize 40 ladies who were on-shitsuing her to death. But she directed them and they did a good job for so little training. They really followed. The hall she said she decorated like a welcome she’d done for Japanese students. When McGovern walked in he exclaimed how beautiful it was. But she said you haven’t heard the benefit. ..They had an hour break in which they usually talk about Harriet’s marriage, her new boyfriend, etc. Well, she started chanting daimoku in another room. Later, all 40 hostesses chanted the rest of the hour with her. The next hour was to mingle with the guests. She shakubukued Paul Newman for 1 ½ hours. Also McGovern. Next McGovern was allotted an hour to speak. He spoke ten minutes and looked to Nancy and said, “Now a word from Nancy.” Nancy had no idea. She just remembered what Sogohonbucho had said to people.
She told them how great Pres. Ikeda was and how so Sogohonbucho. How great America was and will be. Seattle, etc. At the end everyone was in tears including McGovern.
“For once they had hope,” she said. It really changed from a situation of well here we go again for election time~ to one of hope.
Remember the boy who gave Ethel Kennedy the cross? Well, he’s really Christian right? Well he came up with tears and asked to come to a meeting.”
Wednesday, October 20, 1971
This morning Russ enshrined Dave’s Gohonzon and afterwards Dave and I did Gongyo together. The day I had was really vigorous. Class in Urban Administration was interesting.
This evening, a Shakubuku of mine actually called me and wants to come to a meeting. After Dinner, I wrote a couple of letters to friends in Japan and then I studied at the library for a 1 ½. After the library closed I did some Shakubuku. I won a religious debate over two Christians. One agreed with me about the pure lineage lacking in Christianity. In fact, when I left they argued about their philosophy. Christianity is a dangerous illusion definitely!
When I got home I read longer, and when I started to doze I started reading Pres. Ikeda’s Complete Works on the Komeito Party , etc. His Ichinen is extremely powerful, because I ceased dozing and became extremely alert. Very strange to me.
Sunday, October 24, 1971
Today, we had an Oeshiki Ceremony celebrating Nichiren Daishonin’s Death. However, the celebration is not like celebrating a past event, but celebrating now. It was the first time I saw Sogohonbucho for any length of time since he returned from Tozon.
Dave, my Shakubuku met Gary Curtis…It rained early so we left the Temple early.
Tuesday, October 26, 1971
My job or sales meeting lasted from 7:30 until 10:30. We celebrated the conclusion of the sales meeting with a few bottles of Cold Duck Champagne. When I got home I read and then crashed, but at 12:30 I was going to do Gongyo with my member Dave, since he got off work late. Well he got to my place and he just sat down and said, “I don’t think I want to chant anymore.
Well, it shocked me, because it is the first time I’ve encountered such. But, what he freaked about, was the same thing I used to freak about, the organization. When we did AAO’s, talked about Pres. Ikeda, going to Japan, he got flashes of Nazi Germany, the motherland, don’t betray. Wow. I really can see the condition of society through his experience. But, it was strange, I really encouraged him as another human being. It was really beautiful. I felt so very happy. So I helped him with Gongyo and afterwards we had a good conversation and listened to Dvorak’s New World Symphony. We are becoming better friends.
Wednesday, October 27, 1971
Attended a Transportation Seminar, only three Urban Studies Majors were present. How disconcerting!! Education in the United States is so similar to what Pres. Ikeda calls station-lunch universities in Japan (commuter colleges). They’re universal. I feel that I’ve got to do something to change that situation. Sogohonbucho can’t do everything. I must definitely fight to stand alone in my field.
I got home at 5:00 and was in time to do Gongyo with Sogohonbucho. He talked about the consequence of the Komeito party in the Red China situation. Chou En Lai talked to the head of the Komei party and wanted him to agree that the US was an imperialist nation. He scolded him and said the U.S. has made it possible to have freedom in Japan of religion and politics. Chou En Lai respects Komei so much he sent telegrams and everything. Komeito said to Chou En Lai~ “There’s two sides to everything, it’s only natural isn’t it?”
Now starting Nov. 1 the only Japanese newspaper in Peking is the Komei Shimbun (newspaper of Komeito party circulation 3 million).
The Komei representative shook everyone’s hand while other representatives just would not mingle. In fact, he invited 100 guests, including doormen, elevator operators, bell boys, everyone. He really showed Pres. Ikeda’s Ichinen for the Chinese people.
My guests, one freaked out, just split, but Ron in a wheelchair, really has decided to try chanting. It really blew my mind because at one point Sogohonbucho just pointed to his exact circumstances. Ron got a degree from UCSB, but has never used it and he got paralyzed from the waist down in a motorcycle accident. Sogohonbucho, wow!
Wednesday, November 3, 1971
My mom sent my dad a very sarcastic and bitter letter. He and I were quite upset at her condition. I really feel very sad for my mother, but I am confident that she will wake up to Gohonzon much more than ever before. I love her very much.
Today, Dave freaked out again, he had taken his Gohonzon and hung it from the ceiling. Wow, I didn’t know what to think! I just called Soshibucho. After I had re-enshrined Dave’s Gohonzon and was chanting, I really felt like I was Jiyo No Bodhisattva, that may sound strange, but I felt proud and really chanted to help overcome Dave’s obstacle. It was a feeling of mission and responsibility. If I am going to be a politician, I thought, this is the human revolution I must go through so I can be with the people. I took him for guidance with Gary Curtis.
Sunday, November 7, 1971
This afternoon we had a Jr. Hancho meeting with Soshibucho. He said the main thing is to enjoy your practice. Everyday is a holiday in Nichiren Shoshu. Soshibucho said that after Pres. Ikeda comes to the United States in April & May, Nichiren Shoshu is going to become a strong motivating force in society.
One thing I have to change is my Christian feeling about position…I think I am because I’m really proud of being a Jr. Hancho…I’ll never forget Soshibucho’s guidance at one of our first Jr. Hancho meetings…It’s not your position, but it’s what you’re doing. Gohonzon knows all.
Wednesday, November 17, 1971
The Buddhist principal of three steps forward and one step back is so valid. During our last Shakubuku campaign I really cut a lot of my bad nature, I am confident of that.
I am still not too confident of myself, but do have a good base. I am finding I don’t want to be a boasting egotist, because that repels me; or neither do I want to be so rude or strongarm members. I find that I contemplate too much, when I could be studying.
Our apartment seems way too cold, but that must change.
Sunday, November 21, 1971
Tonight, I really have a dream. Something has really been lacking in my life lately and I am sure it is changing. My dream is really to go to Montana and go to school there. There are no members there and I could really test Gohonzon and really develop my own life. There are so many people there that really, No the whole town needs Gohonzon. I don’t want to go there to escape, I know just through my practice that you can’t, but there I would be forced to practice. I really want to change. Maybe, it woI uld be a mistake, but really don’t feel that for some reason. It’s true you should be able to get happy no matter where you are, I know that, but for some reason I really feel I must go to Montana.
Friday, November 26, 1971
Sometimes, I wonder if writing in this book is good, it definitely must have some value. When I read through it, I really can recall some of my past struggles. I can enjoy those memories very much.
Tonight, I’m riding on a bus to San Francisco. When I walked up the parking lot and saw all the people, I remarked, what a groovy peace rally. For us it is the true peace rally.
During dinner, I wrote down the following of Einstein’s words in a book by Karsh, Faces of our Time.
“Awed by his unique intellect, I ventured to ask Einstein his view on immortality. He mused for a moment and then replied: “What I believe of immortality? There are two kinds. The first live in the imagination of people and is thus an illusion. There is a relative immortality which may conserve the memory of any individual for some generations. But there is only on true immortality, on a cosmic scale, and that is the cosmos itself. There is no other.”
“Einstein spoke of these ultimate mysteries as calmly as he might answer a student’s question on mathematics. With such an air of quiet confidence, indeed, that I found his answer profoundly disturbing to one who held other views. I turned to the conversation, and knowing him to be an accomplished violinist, asked him if there were any connection between music and mathematics. “In art,” he said, “and in the higher ranges of science there is a feeling of harmony which underlies all endeavor. There is no true greatness in art or science without that sense of harmony. He who lacks it can never be more than a great technician in either field.”
“Was Einstein optimistic about the future harmony of mankind itself? He appeared to ponder deeply and remarked in grave tones. “Optimistic? No. But if mankind fails to find a harmonious solution there will be disaster on a dimension beyond anyone’s imagination. To what source should we look for the hope of the world’s future? “To ourselves,” said Einstein. He spoke sadly yet serenely, as one who had looked into the universe far past mankind’s small affairs.”
December 13, 1971
I saw one girl that I shakubukued about a year ago and she talked to me very openly about what she was feeling.
It’s strange how people always ask, “Are you still into chanting?”
As I was washing dishes I got a call from my mom. We had a good talk. So I told her to come to work and see me. Well what occurred was remarkably heavy for me. I could have never planned it. My mom came and I gave her a box of candy. Soon afterwards my Dad walks in. Wow, did I blow it. They walked out for coffee and then Russ walked in. He had talked to them.
Afterwards I walked into the back and tears just flowed, it was just so remarkable.
Wednesday morning I slept in and then went to class. I talked to my Mom and she was disturbed as was my dad. After I got home from school, my dad, sitting at the dining room table, said, “I’m going to chant. I’m so unhappy. I’ve got to become strong and get out of this monotonous feeling.”
He is also getting Marian to come to a meeting.
The whole thing just hit me. Wednesday night I studied until 5 in the morning for my State and Local Test. My test directly corresponded to what I studied for.
Thursday, I had another interesting experience. A former Senator Mr. Grueling from Alaska spoke at Valley State. After his speech, the listeners, which numbered very few, were asked to join the Senator in the Cafeteria for some Questions. No place was left for him, but it was strange how YMD training comes in so handy. I cleared him a nice place on a clean table. Nothing really. My picture ended up in the Sundial.
Sunday, I skied Mammoth and visited my mom. I saw my brother too. He looked in good shape. It was great to be together, even just watching the FBI.
Saturday, I drove Larry’s VW to Woodland Hills to deliver some skis. I didn’t think his gas gauge worked. It was on reserve. Tonight (Monday) he told me, when he started it, no gas. We all had a good laugh at the shop.
End of my 1971 Journal.
Daisaku Ikeda is the third President of the Soka Gakkai, formerly one of the laymen’s branches of tNichiren Shoshu, the Buddhist sect established by Nichiren Daishonin, see note #2.
Nichiren Daishonin (122-1282): “The founder of what is now known as Nichiren Shoshu, which regards him as the original Buddha who appears in the Latter Day of the Law to open the way to Buddhahood for all people.” At the age of twelve Zennichi-maro (his childhood name), entered into a Tendai temple where he prayed before a statue and asked “to become the wisest man in Japan.” Pg. 296.
Rhythm: The idea that by practicing Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism you would be in harmony or rhythm with the universal law. You’d be at the right place at the right time.
Itai Doshin: “A teaching of Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism that the ultimate Law of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and the Person, or the original Buddha, are one. Because Nichiren Daishonin is the original Buddha who realized and manifested the Law of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo within himself, he is in this sense the embodiment of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo-the Buddha who is one with the Law. He embodied his enlightened life-condition in the form of the Gohonzon; thus the Gohonzon also embodies the oneness of the Person and the Law.” [Note: maybe give short definition here like “oneness of the Person and the Law” and then establish endnotes or a glossary for further elaboration. Otherwise half the page will be taken up by Buddhist teachings and the journal will be lost in the mix. Much of the NSIC Dictionary is seemingly redundant teaching.
I was quoting a passage from Nichiren’s Gosho. A gosho is a compilation of his writings that range from letters to his disciples to remonstrations against the Japanese Government of his day.
Daimoku: “The title of a sutra, particularly the title of the Lotus Sutra, Myoho-renge-kyo. (2) In Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism, the invocation of Nam (devotion to) Myoho (the mystic Law of life and death) Renge (simultaneous nature of cause and effect) kyo (sound or vibration), one the Three Great Secret Laws.” Pg. 54
Shakubuku: “A method of propagating Buddhism by refuting another’s attachment to heretical views and thus leading him to the correct Buddhist teaching. The term is used in contrast to shoju, or leading another to the true teaching gradually without refuting his misconceptions.”
Myohoji Temple was built in Etiwanda, California and was about an hour drive east of Santa Monica. We used to take members there to receive their Gohonzon (Buddhist object of worship) and also for marriages, funerals, and New Years’ activities. I became acquainted with one of the later priests who is now at Taisekiji near Mt. Fuji in Japan.
Nichiren Shoshu’s organization was a hierarchy that was based upon the master-disciple relationship and used Japanese terminology to denote rank. Sogohonbucho was George M. Williams, the General Director of Nichiren Shoshu Academy (NSA, now known as SGI, International—or Soka Gakkai International). Honbucho was Headquarter’s Chief, who was over the Soshibucho’s (General Chapter Chiefs) who were over Shibucho’s (Chapter Chiefs), who were over Chikabucho’s (District Chiefs) who were over Hancho’s (who were han or small group leaders) who were over junior hancho’s (who were cell leaders). Each of the male roles had a female role that complemented it. There were four divisions within the organization: Men’s division, Women’s division, Young Men’s Division (YMD), and Young Women’s Division (YWD).
Gongyo is the prayer liturgy of Nichiren Shoshu Buddhists based upon a chapter and a half of the Lotus Sutra which is recited five times with accompanying silent prayers in the morning and three times in the evening.
Butsudon, literally means “Buddha’s home.” It takes the form of a cabinet which houses the Gohonzon. We used to raid the back of grocery stores for fruit crates, buy some black spray paint, white poster board, and a picture hook. We’d spray the crate, let it dry, bend the poster board to line it, staple it in, and then hang it up at a new members with the picture hook even before they got a Gohonzon to give them a place to worship. We’d then place two candles on either side of a makeshift incense burner, have then get a small juice glass for offering water, a small plate with fruit on it, and a glass with water to put an evergreen into as the final offering.
Sansho shima-“Three obstacles, four devils.” “They are listed in the Nirvana Sutra and the DaichidoRon. The three obstacles are: (1) The obstacle of earthly desires (Jap bonno-sho), or obstacles arising from the three poisons of greed, anger, and stupidity. (2) The obstacle of karma (go-sho), or obstacles due to bad karma created by committing any of the five cardinal sins or ten evils acts. This category is also interpreted as opposition from one’s wife or children. (3) The obstacle of tretribution (ho-sho), or obstacles due to painful retribution for actions in the three evil paths. This category also indicates obstacles caused by one’s sovereign, parents or other persons who carry some sort of secular authority.”
“The four devils are: (1) The hindrance of the five components (on-ma), that is, those obstructions caused one’s physical and mental functions. (2) The hindrance of earthly desires (bonno-ma), or obstructions arising from the three poisons. (3) The hindrance of death (shi-ma), because the fear and suffering death entails obstruct one’s practice of Buddhism. (4) The hindrance of the Devil of the Sixth Heaven (tenji-ma) The obstruction is usually said to take the form of oppression by men of power.” Pg. 461-462 NSIC Dictionary.
Yusohan were composed primarily of Young Men’s Division members who were committed to protecting the Dai-Gohonzon, the President of the Soka Gakkai, and the members of the Soka Gakkai. We acted as crossing guards for members, traffic control, ushers, informational guides, drove leaders to and from the airport, and did whatever we were asked to do from cleaning toilets, carrying luggage to protecting the General Director and on occasion President Ikeda. We were also called TCD, Traffic Control Division.
Tozon is the term for making a spiritual pilgrimage to the Head Temple Daisekiji to chant before the Dai Gohonzon, which is the chief object of worship of Nichiren Shoshu Buddhists worldwide.
Kosen-rufu (World Peace through the establishment of Buddhism as the true faith) Gongyo (chant a chapter and half of the Lotus Sutra and the Daimoku) was held once a month on Sunday when we did a special set of prayers for world peace.
Seikyo Times was the monthly study magazine of the Nichiren Shoshu Study Academy.
Esho funi-the inseparability of subject and object, “oneness of life and its environment.” Pg. 556.
A zadankai meeting is a discussion meeting which follows a prescribed routine and is held in member’s homes to which guests are invited to attend. They typically begin with chanting the daimoku, followed by Gongyo. After the evening prayers are finished, the leader and emcee turn around towards the audience and then the emcee welcomes people to the meeting, followed by a couple of rousing Gakkai songs. The tunes are usually quite familiar, like “I’ve been working on the Railroad” but the lyrics are totally Buddhist, e.g., “I’ve been doing Shakubuku all the live long day.” Early on everything would be followed by a vigorous, “AAO!AAO!AAO!” with fists thrust into the air, the Japanese equivalent to “hip, hip, hooray!” Then the emcee would ask us to introduce the guests. Shortly afterwards, people would ask if they had an experience they’d like to share which varied from getting a free parking place, a new job, car, healing, etc. After the experiences, the meeting with be opened to questions from the guests and new members which the leader would answer. Following the questions, guests were asked if any of them would like to try chanting. The meeting usually started at 7pm sharp and ended promptly at 8:30pm.
Hai was Japanese for yes. In the early days of the movement we would respond in Japanese to a question with a determined “Hai!” to express our commitment.
Shiki shin funi esho funi was his way of communicating two terms~oneness of body and mind and the second separate term esho funi was the oneness of you and your environment. He basically was saying that my laziness affected the copier
Ichinen is basically the power of your life force. “Literally, “one mind.” The life moment, or ultimate reality, that is manifested at each moment in common mortals…one can manifest his or her Buddhahood inherent in each life-moment.”
“Scarfing,” slang for eating a lot of food quickly when you’re very hungry.
“Two bits,” slang for 25 cents.
“Spaced, spaced out,” slang for a physical, mental feeling of not being in touch with your body or emotions—managing to go through your daily routine without being in balance. Often a result of trauma, lack of sleep, improper eating.
Honnin-myo literally means “True Cause”. We basically interpreted it as living in the moment and not dwelling on the past. Make causes now which will affect your future.
“Punk,” slang for a disobedient and immature youth with no respect for authority. It shows the power of a leader’s words on a new believer. I had been labeled a punk which I’d never been called before in my life. I didn’t realize that I was having an emotional breakdown over my parent’s divorce, but had no who recognized the symptoms as we were building a movement.
“Plastic,” slang for not being authentic or genuine as a person, putting on a face that is not representative of the real you.
“Cut, cut off,” slang for don’t listen to, or stop someone in the middle of what they’re saying.
Chiku is a district meeting place. A men’s district leader is called a chikubucho.
“Mind boggler,” slang for a situation or series of events that happen so fast that your mind can’t correctly evaluate the situation because there are so many elements involved. Liken it to attempting to rake up a pile of autumn leaves and a gust of wind comes along and blows them in circles.
Taitan is the term for quitting one’s practice of Buddhism.
Hosshaku kempon: “Literally, “to cast off the transient and reveal the true.” A Buddha’s act of discarding his transient or provisional status and revealing his true identity.” Pg. 166-167 NSIC.
Kosen-rufu Gongyo are prayers for World Peace that are chanted once a month by members around the world. The final silent prayer in Gongyo reads, “I SINCERELY PRAY FOR THE REALIZATION OF WORLD PEACE AND HAPPINESS, THROUGH THE GOHONZON’S BESTOWAL EQUAL BENEFITS UPON THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND THE WHOLE WORLD.”
On shitsu basically means slandering.
Komeito Party, literally “Clean Government Party” is Japan’s third largest political party which was founded by the Soka Gakkai.